Week two is finished!

I made it through week two!  This morning I got on the scale hoping that I did not put weight on.  I am pleased to report that I lost 3 pounds.  I know that six pounds in the first week was going to be an anomaly, if I can lose two to three pounds a week, I'll be very happy.

I'm reading all this stuff about glycemic loads and indices, how keeping your blood glucose levels from spiking in either direction is a key to fat burning and weight loss.  How the fuck do I know what my blood glucose levels are?  Lisa, the smarter of the two of us called one of those "we'll send you a free meter" diabetes commercials.  A few days later it arrived.  The push pin and hypodermic are for size illustration only, they did not come with the kit.  The lancet looks much wider than it is.  I just drank six ounces of vodka, you want me to operate a digital SLR?  More on the vodka in a bit...

You know how on those diabetes commercials they brag that "their" meter needs no coding?  Well, the free meter I received was not one of those; it needed to be coded.  Holy shit, I'm not diabetic, I don't know shit about this stuff.  How the fuck am I going to code this thing, I don't even know what it means!!!  Turns out, coding a blood glucose meter involves this:  Turn meter on, hold the down arrow until a flashing dash mark appears and then using the up arrow enter the code number found on the little container of testing strips.  Fuck me!  It took all of 30 seconds.  People complain about this step?

Next up was the little pricker thingy.  It's a spring loaded gizmo that looks like a nose hair trimmer.  You insert a lancet and set the depth of pricking (one is the lowest and nine is the highest)  Then you press it against the side of your finger and press a button, the lancet springs forward and punctures your skin.  Yeah right!  For the life of me I could not get this thing to work.  I took out the lancet out of the springy thingy and jabbed it into my finger, it worked just fine.  After all we are talking about a little tiny needle that measures .2 mm in diameter and 2.5 mm in length.  For comparison the needle used to give you a shot of Lidocaine measures  .4 mm by 11.5 mm.  A push pin measures 1.2 mm by 10.5 mm.

I spent the day sticking my finger every hour or so.  The good news is that I am nowhere close to being a diabetic, the bad news is that 2.5 mm is deep enough to hit a capillary.  I had several pin pricks that bled for two or three minutes, it does not sound like long but it drips and is a nuisance.  I did finally get the springy thing to work every once and a while.  From waking up to soon after eating my glucose levels were between 90 to 130.  I'll keep doing random test over the next few weeks to see what if anything that I'm eating really spikes my blood sugar.

I was curious to see what effect six ounces of vodka would have on my blood glucose level (the things I do for you!  Subscribe to this blog already)  So, purely in the interest of science I drank six ounces of vodka and stuck myself an hour later (prime time for a glucose spike)  My glucose only raised nine mg/dl.  No big deal (blood sugar wise, if you bring up liver wise I'll beat you with and old cheeseburger!  Which brings me to the cheeseburger test.

Yesterday 3/21/10 I bought a cheeseburger and opened it up on a small coffin in my office (don't ask) next to an open screened window.  On 3/22/10 I took a picture of it.  I will do so every Monday for as long as my wife will let me.  I'm thinking that it will not attract any bugs nor will it mold, but what the fuck do I know.  We will find out together.  Eat food not science experiments!  God damn it!  I sound like a hippy tree hugger!

With that, I'm off to bed!

G'night my friends!

Bald Bill